Today I noticed that “Chuck Norris” was a trending topic on Twitter. I found it very humorous to go down the list and see what Chuck Norris jokes were being spread on Twitter. Here is a sample:

@Nakialjackson Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

@reborn2603 When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

@PHrozenPHiasco Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

@_HughBris When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

@russdog Chuck Norris doesn’t need Twitter. He’s already following you.

@cstella23 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

@psicojames Chuck Norris doesn’t even need a hashtag to be a trending Topic

@thatgirlkarla chuck norris isn’t afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of chuck norris

@MainShain There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

@dirtysuzy The world was flat until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it, which made it curl up into a ball.

@PastorDuncan Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the world down.

@jordanknight Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits

@kayesays for Chuck Norris every street is one way —- his way.

@RhodaSona Chuck Norris’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd NO ONE FOOLS CHUCK idiots

@kayesays Chuck Norris has never won an academy award for acting … because he’s not acting.

@mikeybd Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

@yoimmatthewww Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

@_HughBris Liberals are what happens when people who’ve been roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris live.

@petewall Chuck Norris doesn’t need a vacuum cleaner because dust is too afraid to settle in his house.

@sneakfetish Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

@giantsuberfan: Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

@JasonMendelson Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience

@liveitfull If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

@evatemperical HAHA: Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

@PRLTGL There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

@Endersrun Chuck Norris’ Rollerblades have real blades on ‘em

@JoelAPInto Chuck Norris speaks French in Russian!

@TheTrueCatch22 Chuck Norris doesn’t pay taxes, he just mails the IRS a picture of himself crouched, and ready to attack.

@tessanoodles if you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, he has more money than you.

@sneakfetish Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

@cstella23 Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

@oh_angie Chuck Norris was there before the chicken AND the egg

@_HughBris Global warming isn’t caused by human emissions; Chuck Norris simply scares ozone.

@Robert_Holland Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

@Sengupta Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you

@Robert_Holland Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

@exchangedliving Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

@USRNAMEiguess Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole barn falls down.

@jblaha When Chuck Norris rides a bike, he doesn’t move. The earth rotates faster.

@apeezy925 Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill

@apeezy925 Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks

@_HughBris Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret.

@tinychuck Chuck Norris can play the violin with a redwood tree

@DSSully Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

@1confusedgirl Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

@brnsugrmama There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

@cliosguy Chuck Norris’ smile once brought a puppy back to life.

@Nicoleeeeeeeee Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

@RyanGrant25 When Google runs out of answers they call Chuck Norris

Just in case there are some fans of Chuck Spurgeon (Charles H. Spurgeon), some people put these together for your entertainment. Check them out on Andrew Caudill’s blog.